Well, I'm afraid it has been too long since I emailed home. The last few P-Days' email time has been dedicated to college application. I have been working to try and get myself applied for and get accepted to BYU. That is my excuse for not writing, but I still apologize in any case.
What hasn't helped the situation is that it feels as though new things aren't happening. In fact, we have had a few very difficult weeks all leading up to last week, which was the hardest of all. I have been more tired than I can remember being, and very stressed. All our efforts have been unsuccessful so far, and Elder Snyder and I just continue to work our hardest, waiting for the blessings to come from our faith and diligence.
It is a hard lesson to learn that the Lord has His own timing in all things. Our zone leader, when things go well for his area, says, "Well, blessings for obedience and diligence!" If only it were so easy. The hard truth is that, though blessings come every time we do the will of the Lord, they hardly ever come immediately. We have done what we are supposed to and have almost no evidence of blessings for our work. Though we are worthy to be blessed, blessings will still only come as the Lord wills them to. I am so grateful for the numerous blessings and lessons I have received. I am infinitely blessed to have a family, and friends who all support me in my decision to be here. Even more, I was born with the gospel, and have grown with its teachings. Though things are difficult for a few weeks, I still marvel at my enormous blessings that I don't deserve.
I know this is the Lord's work. We can only do what is asked of us, and trust that everything that comes is for our own good. Sometimes it feels like we've been given a lot to chew, but we can come out stronger, and we will as long as we rely in the strength of God. I am sad when I see people who are not obedient to God's commandments, especially those who have already received His Gospel. I struggle to understand how a person who claims to have faith can be so faithless in their actions. I wish I could do more to change lives and help others gain the necessary faith to always always do our Father's will. I trust He is strengthening me to do more than I could do alone. He has sent me a good, strong, and worthy companion to do it, and I know He has put us here, at this time, for a reason. We have been blessed, and as I think back on the testimonies I have received in the past, the confirmations of faith, the blessings, my testimony is fortified and strengthened. We cannot fail. We cannot do less than what has been asked of us. I fear some of us will find themselves ashamed at the last day when all petty excuses have been cleared away. I am so blessed to know of the truths of the gospel, so I can do all in my power to repent and serve with all my heart.
I am sorry that all seems very scattered. I have had many thoughts in the last few weeks. The gospel becomes more real to me every day and I am so grateful for the mercy I have been given from a loving Father in Heaven. I hope you all feel of my love for you at home. Keep doing what is right. Don't lose hope. I was very moved by President Uchtdorf's talk on hope, but I won't get even more scattered than I already have been.
With much love,
-Elder Sam Bostwick
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